Home Sweet Home...

YAY...we are here! Sam and I did have a better plane ride on the way home than there...thank the LORD!! Although Sam did scream and cry and throw a total and utter tantrum for the first full hour of the trip...it was still MUCH better than the previous experience. We lucked out and the plane was not a full one...so, we had a seat next to us that was vacant that Sam could use...YAY for that. So, I did NOT have to hold him or even try to hold him the whole flight through! Another praise!

I'm SO Very Glad to be home back with my wonderful husband! I love him so much and I missed him TONS! While we were gone he cleaned out Sam's room and made it Sam's room. This sounds funny to say...but Sam has Never really had his own room...so, finally he cleaned the room we called Sam's out so it can actually be Sam's! Haha! But, he did a really great job with it. I was pretty impressed.

However, what comes out of the Junk room has to go somewhere...so, the rest of our apartment looks a TOTAL mess right now. But, Oh well...at least Sam has his own room now and at least Mark and I won't have to be woke up early in the mornings by our lil man who thinks we ought to be up since he's up... ;)

So, for the news of the Century...Mark and I have begun trying for another little one since arriving home! We are thrilled about this and are so excited to find out if we are pregnant in the next month or so! The last time it only took one try and we were pregnant...so, here's hoping that happens again! My stomach has been cramping a whole lot today...so, there is a chance that's the reason...because that's what happened the last time as well. Well...only God knows. And, for that I'm thankful!

I'm working right now so I'd better get going! Hope to see some of you soon. And for those I just saw in Illinois...it was Truly Awesome spending time with you!

Love and Many, Many Blessings to All!

Last Call for Seattle...

It's been a while since my last blog update. We arrived safely to Illinois a week ago today. Boy was that NOT a pleasant flight! Sam did absolutely HORRIBLE! It's still a little bit painful to think about...so, I won't bore anyone with details(running and hitting and screaming were all involved!!!! Let's leave it at that for now!).

Let's just say this really HAS NOT been a vacation at all! I don't know why I do this to myself, I really don't! It's truly been great getting to see everyone and to visit them for the short amount of time that I've had with them thus far. And, I'm really looking forward to just a few more things, as well...

Tomorrow is a long day...
Sam and I will be going out to eat at the Cracker Barrel for lunch with the In-laws(Mark's parents), who always like to take us out to eat while we are here...which is good, except that Sam really doesn't ever do well in restaurants!! (JUST ASK MY TWO YOUNGER BROTHERS AND MY SISTER MELISSA...previous days during this visit!)

Then, Noah, a dear friend of my Husband and myself asked me to join him for coffee sometime tomorrow before 4pm. I'm excited about this! I love coffee and I love Noah! I always tease my husband and tell him I'm going out on a date with his best friend...just to get some reaction! Luckily Mark doesn't care...he loves Noah and thinks it's awesome that we can hang out while we are here.

Unfortunately, though, the Inlaws want Sam and I to go to our former church right after lunch and visit with the pastors and such there so they can see how much Sam has grown. I just hate this because my time here is TOO precious and short that I really need to stick with just close friends and family...but, they don't understand this concept very well! And, it drives me NUTS!

Vacation this has NOT been, that's for sure! I'm a little dissappointed with this whole trip, to tell you the truth. It's gone WAY TOO FAST and I haven't done NEARLY as much as I would have liked to. I'm so thankful, though, that I got to spend precious time with my Melissa and Amanda(aka: Mookie)! They are the BEST sisters EVER!!! (and when I say sisters, I mean sister-in-laws, but, truly they are my sisters!!!) I love hanging out with them! GIRL TIME!! Too bad it's only ONE day of Bliss without the kiddos, though!

When Sam was younger I used to be able to sleep in more, too...i.e. my mom would come in and take him when he woke up so I could sleep in. She no longer does this. I'm not really sure why, either. It actually bothers me a little bit, because after all I paid all this money and had a horrible flight out here only to be woken up early on my freakin days off! It truly SUCKS! I'm not going to lie.

Thursday the fam (mom, dad, my bro steve, sam, and myself) will be on the journey down to see Nick, Melissa, and Chaya who live in Casey, IL...about 1 1/2 hours away from here. I'm truly excited about this! I really can't wait to spend some more time with the family! Road trips are great...but, Sam is not so good on road trips....so, I'm a lil leary of that! But, I get to see Nick and Melissa's new home...I'm so super excited about that! And, I get to see my little niece, Chaya, again, too...who will be turning ONE on the 2nd of October, two days before Sam turns TWO! I can't wait to let them play together this last time before going back to Bellingham.

Then, Friday we journey back to St Louis again so that Sam and I can make our flight back to Seattle. Sad, Sad, Sad times. The next time we will be traveling back here will be in January if all goes well. And, then Sam will have his own seat...finally! And, Mark will be joining me in controlling the wild child we have named Samuel!

I really am trying to enjoy the time left that we have here...but, it's so hard when in my gut I know it's going to end soon and I won't have done everything I've wanted to!

I'm sad because...

I really wanted one on one time with my mom...deep conversations and such...and it truly hasn't happened because of her never ending busy schedule! IT SUCKS!

I really wanted some time with my dad, too! I don't get much of this when I'm here...and it really sucks that I may not get this time with him...going on some sort of daughter dad date thing! I love that kind of thing with my dad!

I really wanted more time with my older brother, Doug, too! I only got to see him one evening besides the evening he picked us up from the airport! I'm really sad about this because we used to be really close, we could talk about anything...and now I don't see him often enough and it bothers me that I only get to see him those two times...and they've come and gone already!

I also feel as though I haven't had any ALONE time while being on this So called Vacation besides an hour and a half of shopping at Super Walmart while Sam was sleeping at home(all while Nana and Papa were there, of course). How is this a vacation when I haven't had time to myself and I've still been chasing after my son NON STOP! I seriously feel MORE stressed now than when I left Washington! I'm so sad!

Anyhow...although I'm sad...there were good parts, too! But, those will have to wait for another day! It's late, I'm tired and I'm headed for bed! Goodnight Moon! ;)

Feeling Sick...AGAIN!

AHHH! Will this sickness NEVER end??? Last weekend about this time I was feeling like I was getting a cold. And, I thought it had passed. Well, today I wake up and my throat is sore...AGAIN! It's so very frustrating.

Sam's nose is a little runny, too. And, poor little guy, he's cutting all four of his K9 teeth, too...so, he's pretty miserable, too. I hate seeing him this way. He's been such a grouch all week...and I'm tired of the tantrums he throws...but, can you blame him? I think I would throw tantrums too if I didn't feel that great due to teeth cutting.

On another note of pain...My teeth have been really bothering me lately, too. ARGH!!! I've been given a few Dentist's names...thanks to my Mom's Group Buddies. Isn't it nice to have a moms group that loves and cares so much to offer that kind of info!

And...our flight is Tuesday...it's coming so soon. Please be in prayer for Sam and I to get to feeling better so that neither of us get sick on the plane...and that the plane ride will be enjoyable, too...i.e...Sam doesn't want to get up and run around or cry and scream and throw a tantrum! Been there done that...and it's SO not pleasant! I'd rather not go through it again! Pray that we both will be calm and that we both will just fall asleep and have a pleasant trip.

Also...keep my brother in your prayers, as well. First off...he's Given up the drugs and alcohol and the friends that go with it. I'm SO proud of him...TRULY! He's trying to get his life in order...and this semester he is taking two classes at the local Community College. I'm so proud of him for that, too! But, Secondly....he's recently become pretty sick with some sort of viral infection...he went to the ER and they didn't do much because he doesn't have insurance. So, please pray that he can and will get better because it's so costly to go back to the Dr. We will be staying with him and my parents when we get to Decatur...so, I would totally LOVE to see him get so much better by then! I love my brother, but I don't want us to get sick...AGAIN! I don't think I could handle it...seriously...I'm so frustrated by being sick all the time!

Well...Sorry for another rambling session! I hope all is well! Blessings!

Keeping up...

So, maybe it's just me...but, I feel like I haven't been keeping up with things as well as I could lately. I would have thought that since I went down to just two days a week at work that I would be able to do so much more than what I have been doing.

I feel stressed even now about life...and I don't really know why. Maybe it's just that for so long I was working so many more days and felt like now that I'm not I can just relax more and take it easy more. But, I feel like I'm letting people down with the Mom's Group. BUT...I'm tired. It feels like I'm Always so tired.

Maybe I need to get my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome checked out again! When I was younger I had Mono twice and thus was diagnosed with this Syndrome that makes your whole system be out of whack. So, you feel tired all the time. And since I'm working an overnight once a week, I've been feeling even more tired and worn out.

I'm happy that I am more available in case someone needs something...but it's ridiculous that I'm not getting out and doing more things with my Mommy friends in this group I started.

Am I just making excuses??? I don't know. Is this an excuse:
I have been more busy lately with Dr's visits and such since we've been wanting to try again for another baby soon.

But, I don't feel like that's an excuse either. I'm sick of being tired...and not having the energy that I would really enjoy having in order to go out and have playdates with my friends and their kiddos. I just hope that they aren't mad at me for not being at every one like I should be.

I'm really glad that I'm going on vacation soon...although, that doesn't really mean vacation...flying with my son isn't fun at all...and being around family is fun...but sometimes can be too much. It's not just like we are taking off and going to the beach or something...but, it will still be SO nice to see everyone and have a break from life here for a while. I hope that it will rejuvenate me so that I can do more!

I'm not even sure that any of the above makes any kind of sense...I'm still sick and kind of foggy in the brain right now...so, sorry for that.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Sick, yet still working a 15 hour shift.

Today I woke up not feeling so hot. I had a fever and was sweating profusely! I decided to up and go to Walmart with Samuel to get some medicine for my cold and fever. So, I did.

Pretty much while at Walmart I was sweating the whole time because of fever and cold. People probably thought I was a drug addict or something coming off of them. UGH!

I checked out, went home, called my work and no answer. So, I texted a boss and she called me back. I pretty much still need to go to work...even though I'm sick.

It sucks, but what do you do??? So, I'm here, at work feeling like crap. But, at least I get well over minimum wage for working my job...so, it's pretty much worth it, I guess! Besides, we need the money so badly right now.

On another quick few notes right now...

1) My friend Juliana had her baby two days ago...he was 7 lbs, and 20 inches long, and his name is Aidan. I'm so very THRILLED for her and I sure can't wait to see him...after this cold passes!

2) I had a REALLY FUN time last night with Cristel and Amanda! We had a very small girls night out...it was truly an awesome time and I LOVE those girls! We went to Olive Garden and then to see a REALLY stupid movie...Tropic Thunder...but, it was funny at least.

3) Sam and I will be flying out of SeaTac Airport on the 16th of this month...which is only in TEN days...I'm beginning to get so very nervous! Flying with a toddler is NOT fun...and I have experience with this...Trust me...it's not fun, especially since he more than likely will NOT have his own seat. BUT...I'm so EXCITED to see my whole Family! They are everything to me!

Um, yeah...that pretty much sums it up! Until next time...

You are GOD, My Savior!

Today was beautiful and gorgeous and just perfect "Fall" weather! As I was enjoying the weather and working...I was just so blessed! GOD IS GOOD! GOD IS WONDERFUL!

What an awesome thing God has done for my life! If you all don't know my PERSONAL testimony...you are in for it now! This may be a long blog..so, if you don't want to read it...then shew go away! But, if you don't mind my ramblings and longness...then by all means...here you go!

I grew up in a Semi-Christian home...meaning my mom was Christian(not always, though) and my dad struggled IMMENSELY with God and his spiritual life...and never went to church but on the rare occasion of Easter or Christmas to see us all in our plays and such. So, I knew right from wrong and I knew who God was and what He was all about. I asked Him into my life when I was 12 years old. I did really well...well, except for the occasional beat down of my siblings, you know...you gotta do that sometimes, right?? hehe. Anyhow...I was good at following God and doing what He wanted me to do pretty regularly. At this time in my life I also accepted a call into Mission work. I didn't know exactly what that meant, though...I'd always heard about people being missionarys and going to foreign lands and such...but, I didn't know what it meant to me.

Well...I had three really great influences in my life at this time and this is why I did really well with my relationship with God. Pastor Calvin Campbell (who was pretty much my dad at this time, because my dad, although he was in the picture, was not ever there for me) was one of the BIGGEST influences ever at this time. My mom and my Grandma Walden were also very huge Godly influences and strong women in my life. Well, later on...I don't remember the exact year...I'm sure my mom could tell you, though...Pastor Campbell died suddenly in his sleep due to heart conditions. Everyone in my family were devastated! I was never the same.

Pastor Campbell meant everything to me...and suddenly my GOD took him away from me...so, why follow HIM??? That's what I thought. It was a downward...seriously, downward spiral from there. I began looking for ways out by joining a different crowd at school than previously, although I was NEVER popular, NEVER... But, I was never with the bad crowd before either. But, suddenly I found myself in a deep depression and in the worst crowd you'd ever meet. I got into my first relationship. I dated this guy for 8 months exclusively and found myself being hurt over and over again...he raped me. I thought he was my boyfriend...how could someone that close to you do that to you??? Seriously??? Then, it just didn't matter anymore...my virginity was already taken...so, I didn't care...I slept with him anyway. I was just in a horrible state of mind at this time in my life.

Then...the relationship ended when I finally told my mother that he had raped me. She made me end it...and it was NOT pretty. Of course nothing could have been proven...but, she at least made me end it with him and never see or speak to him again. That was really hard.

This was not the only thing that had started in my life either...I was smoking, drinking, cursing like a sailor...BUT...I would never go near the actual drugs. It was offered PLENTY of times...but, I declined, thankfully. There is a story behind this, too...no details, except that I had seen my brother go through the drug phase and did not want to experience any of it! So I found another way...

Then I found that sex was a way out. So, I was permiscuous...if that's how you spell it? And...no, I didn't just sleep with any random guy...I had to have some sort of relationship with them first. This is how bad it was...I knew this guy, got to know him pretty well through him being my brother's boyscout leader...I thought he was cute. He thought I was cute, so we ended up doing things we shouldn't have. That was the LAST time I ever did that again, though! Well...that is until...

I met him...I met this guy: no names for fear that some may know him. We went to church together. We dated for a really long time...and all through out we were having sex. We were really serious. We were even contimplating marriage. Then, he cheated on me. I was again very devastated. We both agreed to end it.

I then dated another guy for about 6 weeks and decided that he was TOTALLY not what I was looking for. At this point in my life I was sick and tired. I was so sick and tired of playing the Mask game: going to church and putting on this front like I was such a great person and did nothing wrong...when I definitely knew better! I remember distinctly the moment in time that I asked Christ Back into my life and for HIM to take this all away: my family were on our way home from church and the sermon MUST have been good, cause right in that car I prayed like no other! I confessed everything to my GOD! I also asked HIM NOT to bring another boy into my life unless it was THE one that He had for me! I didn't want any relationships until I found THE one.

While dating the previous guy for six weeks...I met Mark at a wedding of a mutual friend. I danced with him Cheek to cheek. And that was it. Mark was also dating someone else at the time. We parted and went our separate ways. I then broke up with the guy of six weeks. A week later prayed this prayer.

A month or two passes...I go back to college (community college). I meet Mark again. We talked for a while. We passed each other in the hallway. He helped me with my homework, even though we weren't in the same classes. BUT...I remembered my commitment to GOD. I would NOT date until I knew it was right. We became really great friends. We did a lot together. I even began going to church with him. Then...he told me that he wanted to be more than friends. I told him I didn't. I wasn't interested in any serious relationship. He was okay with that. I went home that night and prayed about this. I had to give this a little time before I could go any further with the relationship with Mark. I wanted to take it slowly. During a weeks time period...we spent more time together, Mark and I. I felt a tugging on my heart so often during this week. I prayed some more and God told me that I was meant for this man. That Mark was to be my husband. I then told Mark that we could be more than friends. We kissed. Then as Mark was leaving to go home...I walked him out to the car...he turned some music on and we danced in the streetlights cheek to cheek.

I continued to go to church with Mark. Eventually becoming a Sunday School teacher for preschoolers...then Nursery worker. I then sang in the choir with Mark. Mark and my relationship was built on Christ. We prayed together. We did devotions together. We did things with mutual Christian friends...including Pastor Paul and Mindy. We grew together as a couple.

My relationship was stronger than it had ever been before and I truly owe it to God. Mark proposed. I, of course, said yes. 9 months later we were married. We went to Greenville to go to college. We didn't start college until a year later. We worked to save and build our savings up. We both started College. I finished my degree three years later...was 5 months pregnant with our first child. My degree is in Urban-Cross Cultural Ministries...and a minor in Sociology. Mark did not finish.

While we were in Decatur, where we met, before getting married...we became really great friends with Paul and Mindy. We later went and attended GC. In my last year there, Paul and Mindy asked us if we wanted to participate in a Ministry Opportunity with them...with no guarantees of anything. They didn't know where they were going...they just knew of a few places that needed Pastors. They weren't really even seeking anything out...they were just praying and asking God what was next, if anything. While they were on vacation out here (in WA) they came to the Bellingham church and Paul preached and met with the board. They prayed about it...God told them it was right... Then they asked us to join with them in the ministry here. Mark said Okay right away. I didn't want to go and be away from my family. I gave it plenty of time and prayerfully considered it as an option. God convinced me that it was the right thing to do...over quite a bit of time...a few months maybe. I agreed to follow God's path and venture out here.

We had Samuel before coming out due to the complications of my pregnancy...we didn't get to physically move with Paul and Mindy...but, eventually 3 months after Sam was born we moved.

We are HERE in the great State of Washington serving the LORD with all of our might. I will tell you, though, that I am not the most perfect person you will ever meet. I'm not the most righteous or holier than thou person, either. I am a plain and simple Miracle of GOD. So many times I could have gotten pregnant or diseases or could have died. So many times GOD saved me from all of that sin! I still struggle with sin...just not the same sin...it's more selfish and attitudes sin than anything. I do not smoke...and I really don't drink(except on the one occasion a month that I'm out with the gals). I will not lie to you and say that I'm perfect. God is still working on me!

But, today as I was driving around in this gorgeous weather I was thinking about how Blessed I really am. I have come SO far and WILL NEVER go back to what I used to be. Thank the LORD MY GOD for that! So, yes...God...YOU ARE GOD, MY SAVIOR...and I will trust in you all day long...

Be BLESSED!